I get many emails and comments from people who have discovered that they were parentified and who are seeking help. The best suggestion I can give is to seek professional help for your particular problem. I don't have the answers for you, although I can certainly share your pain. I know parentification well and I know what it does to a person, but you need to set out on your own path to find the answers to your very personal problems.
It is not easy exploring your past or looking at the things that happened to you as a child. Sometimes we bury a lot of pain and anger and they come up later in life. I do wish that I had all the answers, but I do not.
Again, find a reputable and caring therapist who can help you explore your past and the things that are troubling you now. Read all the books you can find on trauma or abuse, or whatever your particular issue is. Educate yourself. Spend the time doing the work you need to do on your life.
I applaud many of you out there. You're working hard, you're doing the right things and even though it's hard, you're going to reach health and become whole. It can be done.
Please email for a REVIEW COPY.Bad Girls Club has been added to the Pacific Northwest Special Collection at the University of Washington Library and the Ted Hipple Special Collection at the University of South Florida.
BAD GIRLS CLUB (not connected with the TV show) is a roller coaster ride that will put you into the head of a parentified child who is fighting to save her life. If you've ever wondered what it's like to be that child or if you were that child, you'll find yourself in these pages.
I was a parentified child and this blog is a lot about that and also about the things I've learned and done as a result of that experience. I've published two books, (Save Me, A Young Woman's Journey Through Schizophrenia to Health, Doubleday; Bad Girls Club, Blooming Tree Press) both about parentified and abused children which have been well received by educators and mental health experts.
"This book is a must read for school counselors, school psychologists, school nurses and all those interested in providing education and intervention for youngsters trapped in similar family dynamics and unable to free themselves."
Jan Tkaczyk MA School Counselors Assoc. Adjunct Professor, UMass. Boston "Bad Girls Club is as riveting as Dave Pelzer's A Child Called It books, but is far better at exploring the psychological reasons why the abused remain so loyal to their abusers." Midwest Book Review  parentification, child abuse, young adults, abandonment, shame, vulnerability
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